November 2011
1 post
No
Was there ever a decision
With such accurate incision
That a moment’ry revision,
Couldn’t reinstate division?
April 2011
1 post
Music
When I buy music, I always wonder how much of my money goes to the artist. And not because I’m focused on the artist getting just rewards for the work they’ve done, though that does concern me, but because I wonder if I’ve made a difference to that artist’s bank account. When Kanye checks his balance at the ATM, is the three at the end of the nine figure number because of me?
I’m a comedian I...
November 2010
1 post
October 2010
1 post
“Shoppers in the supermarket today can buy chicken free of nearly everything but...”
– NY Times - October 2010
September 2010
3 posts
“The media senses a big story and makes him an international figure, with the...”
– George Packer, The New Yorker
“Along with calls of encouragement, Mr. Kirk was greeted with other tones as...”
August 2010
1 post
July 2010
12 posts
Watchdaveshumka:
The last of my wiener doggery.
Poem: Can't believe I wrote this.
I bowled alone today,
At the alley with the soundtrack of 80s power ballads and year old pop songs
And the three pool tables, though never more than one is being used.
There was a moment when the ball was an extension of my arm, It struck a single pin which tumbled, scattering its nine companions.
The screen congratulated me and I wondered whether this game could be a metaphor.
There was...
“Chief Bill Blair, who told reporters the items were evidence of the protesters’...”
– Jimmy Mahoney - The Globe and Mail
““This time we show the fire nation that we believe in our beliefs as much as...”
– Lindy West - Telegraph
June 2010
1 post
“You never hear a strong man talk about his rights.”
May 2010
4 posts
Poetry: Posterity or Worse Aubade
The plan is to go on indefinite, As others by me hold the moments still, Posterity obtainable through will, No matter what the wish to conquer it But late at night dis-ease runs through my veins, The glimpse of boundary with which I’m cursed. Like waves upon the shore land unrehearsed The dream that my feet land on what remains.
Video: Thank You Much for the Walking Stick
Drunk History Vol. 5 w/ Will Ferrell, Don Cheadle & Zooey Deschanel from Will Ferrell
Video: Walking in Los Angeles
Poem that doesn't rhyme: go
Go fuck yourself, If you think that the problem with this world is the People who inhabit it and not the realistic impossibility of reaching any Kind of equilibrium to satisfy the need to judge those individuals That want to reach the evolutionary termination of their being without Incidentally making the mistake of losing out or upsetting the chaos That has worked so well up to this point....
March 2010
1 post
Poem: Pearls
On a ramshackle island alone in his world,Is a man castaway with a bucket of pearls.See each pearl can change shape, feel and colour and more,He knows though, not to question the pearl metaphor. Because pearls can’t be eaten or drunken or sailed,And the pearls are not purposely hidden or veiled.They are pearls and they’re beautiful noone need ask,If their amorphous lustre is wearing a...
February 2010
1 post
Non-Fiction: Shuttle
Train of thought in shuttle from Hotel room to Charles De Gaulle Airport: In Hotel Lobby waiting for 7pm shuttle. 6:40 Ah that man over at the counter is a shuttle driver, says so on his t-shirt, what a coincidence, or maybe it’s my shuttle, Yellow Bus Shuttles, was that the one I signed on for? Can’t remember, ah he said ‘Dixon’ to the receptionist, that’s me. Wow early, really early. What if I...
January 2010
1 post
Poetry: Two From Bruges
The chef who would cook all the cats he could find,Did not understand why he was much maligned. His thoughts went like this, when a cat eats a fish,It co-opts the taste of an alternate dish. The birds it consumes must enhance the cuisine,But the folk of the town thought him silly and mean. To follow his logic they roasted him whole,Expecting a bounty of flavours per bowl. Yet apathy reigned when...
December 2009
11 posts
Music: Jeremy by Pearl Jam
But tamer and with better lyrics.
Fiction: Rufus
It didn’t matter that nobody spoke English; Rufus didn’t need to speak to anybody. A child was perched on the creaking metal gate but his swinging legs were the only two in the vicinity that weren’t heading somewhere. As long as Rufus remained unmemorable this would be easy. A dull man was an man avoided, and dullness was a necessary skill for someone in Rufus’ line of work. The thing to do...
I don't read too good
Poem: Siren
Fire trucks are brash, conceited, Stand aside we’ll douse what’s heated. Ambulance is sad, despairing, Siren song with honest caring. Cops in cars are keen, excitement, Anxious to achieve indictment. Ice cream vans are not like these, They sing Henry Eight’s Greensleeves.
DVD Review: Gerry
At a lengthy hour and a half, this film stretches dauntingly in front of the viewer, but that may well have been the aim of director Gus Van Sant. The tone of Gerry is oppressive, the shots are long and sometimes painful and the landscape is terrifyingly vast and minimalistic. Two best friends, each named Gerry (Casey Affleck and Matt Damon) lose their way in the desert after setting out on...
I'm not leaving this fucking cart
Are those my birds?
Twitter: Shumka
Dear the blues, you’re worse than the jazz. If I’m guilty of anything it’s various crimes. The catchphrase from my reality show will be “Pack up your shit and get the fuck out.” (via Twitter: daveshumka)
Movie Review: A Serious Man
The Coen brothers would like to be a filmic force to be reckoned with. In many ways they are; their direction is almost always impeccable, they paint their settings with a fantastical touch and create insular universes that are wonderfully funny and sickening. But what do they ask of their audience? A Serious Man is a film about religion and pain. Joel and Ethan Coen grew up in the suburbs of...
Movie Review: An Education
Set in early 1960s London, one of the greatest triumphs of An Education is that the script could be transplanted into the modern day with few revisions. Writer, Nick Hornby (About a Boy and High Fidelity) has presented a world in which the characters are stunningly relatable despite his characteristic, occasionally too perfect, banter. It’s the story of a girl and a man, the man falls in love with...
Movie Review: Moon
Moon is an appropriate title for this Sam Rockwell vehicle. It is simple and apparent yet evokes that kind of awe that leads to cocked heads gazing in admiration. Though Moon contains science and fiction and bears the title Moon, like all good sci-fi films, it does not rely on any science fiction elements to get by. Sam Rockwell’s performance is memorable to say the least; it may well be the...